See the original post written in January 2011
The interaction between two people through a connection, association, or involvement.
- Virtual Grudge:
A feeling of ill will or resentment as a result of harboured because of a real (or fancied) wrong, in the virtual world that is sometimes carried into the physical world.
- Virtual Credit:
To name or list one by one in order to determine a total number of times contact has been made and in turn deduce the number of times contact is owed.
- Virtual Tone:
The understood manner of speaking by the recipient of the sender.
(Example described later in this blog post)
I was talking to a friend of mine over the phone the other day and he was arguing the point that virtual communication is one of the driving factors of most relationship problems.
“If you had a girlfriend who always had a picture of the two of you up and you guys broke up she’d change the picture to a dog (for example)
You’re then supposed to try to figure out if she was comparing your relationship to her to a dog?
or if she’s trying to prove that she doesn’t care about the fact that you two have broken up and has just put up a quick picture.
…. then if YOU change the display picture to one of a dog (or any other animal) and try to play at the same game all of a sudden YOU look sad and pathetic”
F2 has just popped into bed and is about the fall asleep when he reads the BBM message and in F2s exhaustion falls asleep. F1 see’s that F2 has read the msg and hasn’t replied. This drags on for a few days and F2 still hasn’t replied (forgetting that the message exists.) F1 is still holding on to his “Virtual Grudge” and refuses to contact F2 directly, thinking that F2 OWES F1 a call/msg (Virtual Credit) and refuses to have an imbalance of this virtual credit.
is a variety of verbal and non-verbal means of communicating exists such as body language; eye contact, sign language,paralanguage, haptic communication, chronemics, and media such as pictures, graphics, sound, and writing.
What I mean by virtual tone is hard to describe on e-paper! So I will try my best.
For example: On BBM You ask your friend to come out for lunch.
“Hey wanna go out for lunch?”
“I don’t feel like it!”
“Oh ok, I wasn’t forcing you!”
“I know you weren’t forcing me, I just don’t want to!”
“So why are you yelling!?”
“Dude, I just don’t feel like it ok!”
Here, the virtual tone is misunderstood. Let’s say that this is a typical scenario. The use of exclamation marks indicates (to me) either a person yelling or excitement. Obviously the person wouldn’t be excited to say “I don’t feel like it!” so my interpretation may be that the person is yelling and just doesn’t want to see me =(.
Had the same conversation been over the phone (where tone of voice can also be used to receive a message):
“Hey wanna go out for lunch?” (Happy go lucky)
“No” (dead pan)
“Why not?” (Confused/ concerned)
“I don’t feel like it!” (Forceful, defensive)
“Why babe, what’s wrong?” (Concerned caring)
“It;s just that….blah blah… so I’m really not in the mood” (Depressed/ down)
“Do you wanna talk about it?…over lunch maybe? ” (Concerned/cheeky)
“Hahahaha I do, but not over lunch, do you mind coming over? I’ll feed you” (Down but feeling uplifted)
“Sure, will be there soon!” (Excited, Friendly)
Can you see how the Fifth sentence has differed in both conversations? The Virtual Tone of the depressed friend (receiver) seemed Forceful, uncaring, defensive and unapproachable. It was difficult for the sender to interpret that solely through text.
On the other hand, when tone of voice was introduced (In the second conversation) the sender had more verbal communication to work with in order to understand the receiver better.